#My52 “Alone Forever”

Oscar Hayes, stirred his two sugars in his cup of coffee as he listened to the new tech intern talk about his marriage proposal of the night before. Tired of biting his tongue, “Why are you so sure she is the only one for you?” Oscar asked. All the conversations in the break room came to a halt.

Randall, the intern, started to answer Oscar’s question. “I just know.” He replied. “That is not an answer,” Oscar countered. “Well, I know she makes me happy, and I want to spend the rest of my life being happy with her,” Randall said.

Oscar laughed. “Really, and what if someone else makes you happy? Will you still stay with her?”

“Why do you think I would leave her? The reason to get married it to stay married,” Randall said. Oscar laughed again. “Do you live in the real world? How many people do you know that stay married?” Oscar asked.

“My parents have been married forty years, and my grandparents were married for fifty years before they died. They are my examples of happy marriages,” Randall said as he smirked at Oscar. Many in the break room watched the interaction between Randall and Oscar. Maggie shook her head. “Oscar, have you ever been married?” She asked. “No and never will,” Oscar replied. “Why?” Maggie asked.

Oscar took a sip of his coffee and looked around the room. All eyes were on him. Many he had worked with for years but had never had a personal conversation about marriage before. He usually stayed away from those talks. However, today, something clicked inside, and he had to speak. “I do not have the luxury of having parents that stayed together. My parents married three times each. And do you want to know why?”

Heads nodded, waiting for his response. “My parents cheated on each of their spouses. Did not give me a great example of marriage life. So, Randall, I ask again, how do you know she is the one? Will you cheat on her or maybe she will cheat on you?”

Randall’s face turned bright red. Oscar laughed. “Oh, is there something you want to say about cheating?” “Just because your parents cheated it does not mean everyone cheats,” Randall said. “Yes, but when I said about cheating, you reacted. Is there something you want to share?” Oscar asked.

Randall turned and walked out of the break room. Maggie shook her head. “You are a piece of work, Oscar. I am sure there is no one who wants to marry you.” “You are probably right, and that is why I will never get married.”

Oscar stayed in the break room long after all the others had gone back to their cubicles. His coffee sat cold on the table. He wondered if he should have kept his opinions to himself. Most of the staff were younger and lived in a fantasy world. Oscar knew the real world gave people options, some of which they could not walk away from. This was the first time he wished he had asked his parents why they got married and why they cheated.

Troubled Oscar left the break room and decided he would leave work for the day. The giddiness of Randall was bothersome, but the look of disgust of the other staff put a rock in the pit of his stomach. And that is why you are alone and will die alone was the voice he heard.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 19”

“What do you mean you came for me?” Jacob asked, and he stared at her hand. “I have been trying to make sense of my dream. A few minutes ago I saw you in my house,” Lila said. “Do you always follow your dreams?” Jacob asked. “The elders taught me to pay attention to my dreams, knowing they have a purpose in my life,” Lila answered.

Looking at her hand as if it were a snake would bite if he touched it, Jacob walked to the window. When he turned to face Lila, her hand was still out. A magnetic force pulled him back to her. This time he took her hand. The sight of the warm brown hand holding his pale hand jolted his system. “Did we speak when we first saw each other?” Jacob asked as he continued to look at their hands intertwined. “No, we looked at each other and walked on our way,” Lila said.

Jacob raised his eyes, and for the first time, he saw Lila smile. Her face glowed, and the room took on the warmth she offered. “Where is home?” Jacob asked. Lila laughed as she began to stroke his hand. A calm Jacob had never known filled his body. “My home is in Arizona,” was Lila’s reply.

“I have so many questions, and nothing seems to make sense at the moment. Weeks ago, I started feeling as if it was time to move. That Miami was no longer home, but I did not understand where I would go,” Jacob said. “Home is with me,” Lila offered. “And you know that?” Jacob asked. “Yes, my dream told me to come home. The destroyed beach house was the reason to come for the person,” Lila said.

Jacob laughed for the first time that day. “This feels like a science fiction movie. A hurricane upends my life, and I must leave with you and start anew,” Jacob said. “You make it sound like a bad thing,” Lila said. “But I do not know you,” Jacob countered. “Listen to your heart, Jacob. What is it telling you?” Jacob paused. His brow pinched.

“It says come home. But I am already home,” Jacob said. “Are you home, Jacob?” Lila asked. The years of loneliness seeped into his soul, and Jacob sighed. “When do we leave, I’m coming home with you,” Jacob said. “I have been wandering all over the country trying to find a home. I am coming home with you, Jacob. We are home to each other,” Lila hesitated. “No, I know you need to have a conversation with your children. This will be harder on Karen than Carl.”

Jacob’s first call was to Carl. It surprised him how supportive Carl was to his plans. Karen questioned who this woman was and why he would leave with her, but realized that her father was grown and needed to leave. Jacob’s final call was to Paul. A sixty-year friendship ended with that call. This time he took Lila’s hand and smiled. “Let’s go home.”

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 18”

In the hotel room, Jacob paced and refused the seat Lila offered. “Tell me about your dream,” Jacob asked. “Have a seat, please,” Lila said. Something in her tone stopped Jacob. He looked at her and then the chair. Several moments passed, and then he sat.

“Two weeks ago, I dreamed of a beach house. I did not see the person who lived there. The wind was blowing everything out to sea. Then the beach house broke apart, and most of it washed out into the ocean. When I woke, I heard a voice, say ‘come home.’ I had not lived here in forty years. The last time I was in Miami was fifteen years ago to bury my aunt. I have a few cousins still here, but no reason to return.”

“Yet you came,” Jacob said. “Yes, I took two days to convenience myself; there must be a reason for me to return.” Jacob stood and walked to the window. The wind had died down, but it was still raining. “Can I get you anything?” Lila asked. Jacob laughed, “Yes, my beach house,” “I wish I could,” was Lila’s reply.

“Do you always follow your dreams?” Jacob asked. “I try to make sense. As a child, my old relatives told me to pay attention to my dreams.” “I still do not know why you walked by my beach house that first night, I saw you,” Jacob said.

Lila smiled. “I was walking, and something or maybe someone drew me in that direction. When I passed your beach house, I felt an awareness. It was not strange but comforting. It was as if I knew you.”

“But you did not stop or speak,” Jacob said. “I did not know you, and that would be rude to walk up,” Lila said. “Okay, but what about after Paul came to see you,” Jacob asked. “I was not sure I wanted to speak with you after talking to Paul. If you were as rude as he was, I did not want to have anything to do with you.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Jacob asked. “I had committed for one week, then the approaching hurricane left me stranded. Well, not stranded, but not able to change my plans and leave early. Since you had not approached me, I decided you did not want to talk with me. Then pieces of the dream, I had forgotten returned. It was your beach house, and I saw you standing out front looking at the remains of your house.”

“You didn’t tell me that in the basement. Why not?” “Jacob, would you have believed me?” He shook his head. “Probably not, then I would have tried to leave and see about my house.” “You would have risked your life for a beach house?”

Jacob plopped into the chair. “I wanted a beach house since I was a kid. I guess I was only to have it for a few years. A got glimpses of you from long ago. I went through my college yearbooks, looking for a photo of you. I knew it was school related, but I also knew it was not high school.” Lila laughed, “Oh, yes, segregated high schools.”

Lila shuddered. An image of Jacob in her house. “Are you all right?” Jacob asked. “I should ask you that. Strange as it might sound, I am here for you.”

Lila stood before Jacob. Waiting for him to take her outstretched hand.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 17”

Jacob, Lila, Karen, and Paul left the hotel when the all-clear had been announced. The waves rough and the sea roared as they waked to the beach house. Along the way, they say pieces of roofs and every imaginable item that the hurricane had picked up and deposited on the beachfront. Jacob could not move fast enough to get back to his house. With each step the possibility of not having a house or one in such disrepair he would have to move filled his stomach.

“Dad, it will be okay,” Karen said. Jacob nodded. He knew his daughter was in tune with his feelings at the moment. One quick look at Lila, and her feelings were on her face. He had always wanted a house on the beach. Shawn thought it was stupid, so after she died, he sold their house and bought the beach house. Maybe it was only for the time he had the house. Perhaps it was time to move on. Once again the feeling of why was the black woman here

Around the bend there stood the remains of his beach house. The four of them stood in silence, taking in what had been Jacob’s dream for most of his life. He loved the ocean and living on the beach gave him life. “Dad,” was all Karen got out before Jacob fell to his knees.

Lila dropped next to him and placed her arms around him. In that instance, Jacob felt a peace he had been searching for most of his life. The thought the beach house was what he needed, but this woman with her arms holding him made every mistake seem minor. “Jacob, you can rebuild,” Lila whispered in her ears. “No, I think this is the end of this dream,” Jacob said.

Karen and Paul watched Jacob and Lila. Slowly Jacob stood and took Lila’s hand to help her up. “Well, let’s see what we can salvage,” Jacob said. The roof was half gone, and the shutters banged against the frame. The irony of the day, the roof was intact over the room with the boxes Jacob had been going through. That room and the guest bedroom had survived if he could call it survival. Sloshing through the water in flooded rooms, Jacob picked up a few items.

“Dad, I called Carl, and he is on his way with his truck,” Karen said, “Thanks, honey,” Jacob replied. Lila had worked on his kitchen. “Lila, you do not have to do that,” Jacob said. “I am here so I will help,” she replied and continued to work on the items on the floor.

By the time Carl had arrived, there were bags of items that needed to go to the dump. Most of Jacob’s clothing would need to be washed. Paul worked in silence with the others. Carl made two trips to the dump. By nightfall, they cleared what they could save. “Dad, you can come home with me,” Karen suggested. “Thanks, I need to be alone,” Jacob said. “Jacob, you need not be alone,” Paul said. “Paul, your days of taking care of me are over, thanks, but I am good.” Jacob turned to Lila, “We need to talk.” She nodded.

Jacob and Lila left Karen, Carl and Paul and headed back to the hotel, never looking back at the beach house or the three stunned people on the steps.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 16”

Lila pulled the items from the mini refrigerator in her hotel room. “This might not be the best breakfast, but it will hold us until we can leave the hotel,” Lisa said to her guest. “Do you need any help?” Karen asked. “No, well see what is in the minibar for drinks. That would be helpful,” Lila answered.

Jacob stood at the window and watched the waves on the ocean. Paul sat in the chair by the desk. The tension between them clear to everyone in the room. Paul watched Lila as she continued to place the food on the desk.

“Guys, there is French bread, three different cheese, and several fruits,” Lila said. She would say nothing about the conversation that caused the tension in the room. “Jacob, you can have the other chair and Karen, and I can sit on the edge of the bed.” Jacob turned from the window. Karen and Lila watched his movements. Each concerned for different reasons. “Let’s bless the food and then you two can have the conversation that is dancing around us,” Lila said.

They ate the minimal breakfast in silence. Lila watched all three of her guest. Hearing Paul talk about saving Jacob put their relationship in a different light. The dream still lingers. She had remembered her only encounter with Jacob before this week. But why was she to come and what about his beach house? In the dream, the beach house washed away. What did that all mean? How she wished one of her aunts was still alive. The older members of her family could always interpret her dreams. Growing up, she had plenty of dreams.

“Jacob, I am sorry if I have made you uncomfortable all these years. I only wanted to make sure you were okay,” Paul said. It brought Lila to the room with Paul’s comment. “Paul, saving my life did not mean smother me, and that was how it felt. I accept your apology, but from here on, I do not need saving,” Jacob said.

Karen and Lila watched the interaction, neither wanting to say anything. The eerie silence covered the room again. Lila got up and began to clear the food from the desk. “Jacob, I went to Miami Dade Junior College the summer after I finished high school. I remember seeing you there,” Lila said. “When did you remember that?” Paul asked. “Paul, you are doing again,” Jacob said. Paul looked down at the floor. Lila laughed, and the tension in the room seeped out.

“I remembered when we were in the basement. I have not lived here in forty years. I had a dream that terrified me a week ago. At the end of the dream was a voice that said come home,” Lila said. “And you came to Miami because of a dream?” Karen asked. “Yes, I grew up trusting my dreams. They were usually pointing me to something or someone. Never were they literal.” “This is scary since I had the dream about Dad last week,” Karen added.

“I think the dreams are connected,” Lila said. Jacob stared at Lila, She turned and smiled at him. He started to speak, and Karen’s cellphone rang. It was her brother. She answered, then let him speak with their dad. It was time to walk to the beach house and access the damage if any. Because the beach house had been in Lila’s dream, she knew she would go with them.

An unease filled Lila’s body.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 15”

Jacob stretched his legs out several times to relieve the kinks. Sleeping on the floor, not really, but sitting on the floor with his back to the wall. Not the best night he had in a long time. The quietness of the room brought him back to the hotel basement. On his left, Karen and Lila slept on cots and Paul on his right against the wall.

“What?” Jacob asked as he noticed Paul staring at him. “Remember when you saved me from drowning at Boy Scout camp?” Paul asked. Jacob nodded, knowing Paul had more to say. “Afterwards, my aunt Bea said I owed you my life, and I should always take care of you.” “Are you kidding me,” Jacob shouted. All around, he heard, “Sh.” “Sorry,” Jacob said to the couple across from him, then he turned Paul. “So since we were twelve you have butted in my life because I saved you?” Paul winced. “When you say it, it sounds creepy.” “Paul, it has felt creepy, but you were my friend, so I dismissed the feeling.”

Their voices were at a level that all the surrounding people woke up. Karen looked at her dad and his best friend. Lila sat up against the wall. “Shawn always said it was not natural how protective you were of me,” Jacob said. “As much as I know you to be a man whore, there were times I wondered about your attention to me.” Paul began to laugh. “You thought I wanted you sexually?” Paul asked. “What was I to think? You were against every woman I had in my life.” Jacob grunted.

“Dad, I think you two need to keep your voices down. This is not the place for this kind of conversation.” Karen said. The lights in the ceiling rocked back and forth and then blinked out. A moment or two, the lights were back on. That was enough for both Paul and Jacob to forego their conversation. The manager of the hotel blew into the mic he had. “Good morning, folks, I am Arthur Wilco, the hurricane has passed over with not as much force as predicted. As soon as we get an all clear, you may go up to your rooms. Thank you for your patience, I know this was not the best way to spend your vacation.” A smattering of hands when he had finished.

“We can all go to my room until it is safe to leave the hotel,” Lila said to Jacob. “Thanks, I want to get back to my beach house as soon as possible.” The four of them sat quietly. It was a new day, and there were still too many questions. To break the tension, Paul stood and walked by the door. “Dad, was Paul the reason you and mom never had a good marriage?” Karen asked. “Honey, we had lots of problems, Paul was only one. We wanted different things and always thought the other one would change, and that never happened.” “Thanks for being honest with me. What about Lila?” Karen whispered. “I just met Lila. She has nothing to do with your mother and me.”

But I know her.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My52 “Coming Home, part 14”

Panic filled the area once known as a ballroom. Chairs stacked in the corner with cushions as high as the ceiling. Lila shuddered as she was pushed into the room along with Jacob, Karen, and Paul. Jacob said something but the volume of other voices did not allow her to hear him. A jolt to her system and Lila looked at her arm. Jacob had grabbed her and was aiming for a corner of the room.

Inch by inch, the four of them made it to the other side away from the crowded door. It seemed most people felt they were better off by the door when there were still others trying to get in. Lila had lived in Miami and knew how to prepare for hurricanes. Her parents’ house, not the best, but it had survived many hurricanes. She thought about the kerosene lamps that used when the power went off, and there were no lights.

A chuckle had Jacob close to her ear. “Mind telling me what is funny in this situation?’ Jacob asked. “Thought about the lamps we used years ago. Then how we did not have the electronics, what would we have done.” Lila answered as she turned to him. “I guess it is funny. I remember reading by candles when the power went off.” Jacob said.

“Dad,” Karen called. Jacob turned to see Karen frowning. Then he noticed he was still holding Lila. It was a light touch. He continued to hold Lila’s arm. “Yes, Karen, what is it?” “Are you ready to tell me what is going on with you and this woman?” “This woman has a name, and you know it, so do not let me get up in your face,” Lila said as she interrupted Jacob before he could answer Karen. “Karen, that was rude,” Jacob said.

Lila moved away from the three and found a cushion against the wall and took a seat. She pulled out her cell phone and called her best friend. Rena answered on the first ring. “Girl, tell me you are okay,” Rena said. “That is why I am calling you. I am in the hotel’s basement with too many scared people.” Rena laughed. “Only, you would go home, and a hurricane would trap you.” “Rena, this is not funny. Not in the least. There is much I want to tell you about this trip but now is not the time. I wanted to let you know that I am safe. I will be on the next flight out of here as soon as I can.” “Keep me posted,” Rena said. ‘I will.” Lila pushed end on her phone and placed in her pocket.

A pair of blue eyes watched her every move. Once again, she felt an unease. The old folks saying of someone walking over your grave came to mind. The image of the beach house going up in flames. Lila looked at Jacob, he had not wavered in his stare. She watched Jacob shake his head as if to remove an image. Oh, my goodness, I know where I know him from.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My 52 “Coming Home, part 13”

Jacob woke startled. Karen was calling me in my dream. Shaking his head to release the sleep that threatened to take over. The night before Jacob found Paul at his door when he returned from his visit with Karen. The black woman named Lila had been at the beach house. Paul had let her know Jacob was not home. After sending Paul home, Jacob went to bed. The day had been strange on so many fronts.

Loud knocking. Jacob heard Karen’s voice. I did not dream about her calling me. Jacob jumped out of bed. The beach house shutters on the window banged. What is going on? Karen yelled, “Dad.” “Coming,” Jacob replied.

Jacob opened the door as Karen raised her fist to hit the door again. Karen, Paul, and the black woman, Lila were standing on his front porch. “Why are you all here in the middle of the night?” Jacob asked. “Dad, the hurricane switched directions, and it is headed this way,” Karen said. The rough sound of the waves caught Jacob’s attention.”Why are all of you here? You could have called.” Jacob said. “I tried calling Dad, but it went to voice mail,” Karen said. He had turned the ringer off both the house phone and his cellphone before going to sleep.

Lila stepped in front of Paul. “I am Lila. I had a dream about your beach house, and it worried me, so I came to see if you were okay.” “Do I know you?” Jacob asked. Lila smiled, “No, I do not think so, but something about you seems familiar.” “I could say the same thing about you,” Jacob said.

Karen and Paul watched the interactions between Lila and Jacob. “Dad, you need to come to my house. I told you when you bought this beach house it was not a good deal.” “Karen, this is my house, it has weathered many hurricanes.” “Jacob, I think Karen is right, you need to leave,” Paul added.

Jacob turned to Lila. “Tell me about your dream.” “Dad, this is serious, you can talk about dreams later and away from here,” Karen said. “We can talk later. It is not safe to be here.” Lila said. The concern Jacob saw pushed him to rush inside. He had a duffle in the closet packed for his various adventures. With the bag, his cellphone and his favorite coffee mug, Jacob took one last look at his beach house and locked the door. The feeling of life ending grabbed his chest.

The wind pulled them towards the ocean. “The hotel is closer,” Lila said. “Hold my hand,” Paul shouted over the roar. The four of them hand in hand struggled against the sand that pelted them. There were folks in the hotel lobby. Many had never lived through a hurricane, and the fear was evident on their faces. The staff worked tirelessly to get everyone down to the basement.

Karen pulled out her phone. A quick call to her brother to let him know she was with their dad and at the hotel. The packed elevators were not a choice. Jacob pointed to the stairs, and the four of them headed to the basement.

Will my beach house still be there? Lila touched his arm. A spark ignited between them. “I hope your beach house survives.” “Did I say that out loud?” Jacob asked. “No.” she answered.

© 2019 Ivy Jade

#My 52 “Coming Home, part 12

Lila left the cafe and headed out the back of the hotel towards the beach house. It was bad enough she had listened to a dream and come back to Miami, but now to be harassed by some guy. She wanted to slap his smug face. The heels of her shoes sinking deeper into the sand. Not the best shoes to walk on the beach. Anger continued to grow as she walked.

A fierce wind whipped the scarf from around her neck. She was not dressed for the beach, but would not turn back. Each step a moment closer to speaking with the golden man she had learned was Jacob. She knew no Jacobs in her life. Once again the calm of knowing him. Why can I not place where I know him from?

The wind continued to whirl around her, and the sand began a minor annoyance in her shoes and her face. Lila stopped to take her shoes off. The closer she got to the beach house the fiercer the wind. As the old folks would say, this had to be a sign. One she should listen to. A pause, the man from the restaurant was on the steps of the beach house.

“Well, well, look who is here,” Paul said. Ignoring his comment, Lila asked, “Is your friend here?” “You still claim to not know Jacob?” he asked. “Listen, mister, I do not know you and or your friend. I want to know why you are following me. I would ask him if he sent you.” Lila said.

“He’s not here,” Paul stated. “You can tell him for me, both of you can jump in that ocean. Do not worry about me. I am leaving, time for me to go home.” Paul laughed. “You came this way to speak to Jacob, and now you are going home.” Lila walked up to Paul and put her finger in his chest. “I do not know the game either of you is playing but I am over sixty, and I do not have time for this.” She turned and started back to the hotel. Paul yelled after her, “You are the one playing a game. I will find out what it is.” Lila continued to walk. The trip had been troubling from start to finish.

As she walked, she attempted to put the dream in place and find what or whom the dream referred to. She had now seen the beach house, looking out on the horizon she saw cranes and a small bridge. Obviously, she was in the right place. Blinking the cranes and bridge disappeared. Lila stopped short. I know I saw them. Am I losing my mind? The wind picked up again. She walked to the edge of the water and sank down. The water was cool to the touch even though the sun was warm on her back. The words your heart repeated several times. Is this place my heart or is there someone here that is my heart?

As Lila looked out into the ocean, the beach house was the only image she saw.

#My 52 “Coming Home, part 11”

Jacob rose after another restless night. His mind had recounted many of the adventures he and Paul had taken over the years. None of the scenes brought him any answers to why Paul was so protective of him. Maybe protective was not the correct work. He felt smothered by Paul.

A quick shower and a cup of coffee, Jacob left the beach house to visit his daughter. “Dad, what are you doing here so early?” Karen asked. “Couldn’t sleep last night and wanted to hear about your dream.”

Karen opened the door wider and watched Jacob as he entered. “Dad, what is going on? Paul called me twice this week about you, and I never hear from him.”

“That is why I am here. Something is going on with Paul, and I think it is all connected to your dream.” “But how, he was not in my dream. Just you at first and then a black woman.”

“Tell me about the dream.” Jacob insisted. “Where was the dream?”

“The dream was happening around the beach house. There was a storm, then the sun came out, and the woman was on the patio. I think I came up to speak to her, but then she walked away, and you followed her. I kept calling you, but you never looked back. Then I woke up upset you never turned around or acknowledged me.”

“Dreams usually point to something. But none of that makes sense. There was a black woman on the beach two days ago. I had the feeling like I knew her. Paul was with me when the woman walked past the beach house. I must have starred too long for Paul because he found her hotel and annoyed her.”

Jacob paced. His daughter watched. “Dad, why don’t you sit.” “Can’t sit, too much energy.” “You are making me nervous. Why don’t you talk to the woman and find out who she is? You said Paul knows her hotel, you could talk with her.”

“Karen, I think the part about the storm is most troubling at the moment. I think my life with Paul has ended after almost fifty years.” “Why would you think?” Karen asked. “Last night I replayed so many of the events in our lives together. I don’t Paul even though I thought I did.”

Karen shook her head. “Not following you, dad.” She said. “Paul has been in our lives all of my life. I know mom did not like him, but she never voiced her opinion.” “How do you know your mother did not like Paul.” “Oh, the looks she gave whenever he came over or when you were going out with him.”

“How did I miss all of that?” Jacob asked. “You did not want to see either of them for who they were.”

Jacob plopped in the comfortable chair by the door. My life has always been a storm waiting to happen.

© 2019 Ivy Jade